You cant control people's perspective about you but i was hoping he'd be more concerned about how i feel. Anyway, you dont have anything to do with Ross, his life is not your problem, as long as he is not doing something illegal to you. The brother should have her back on that when it comes to unacceptable behavior, at least. 4.What to Do When Your Boyfriend Doesn't Stand Up for You; 5.When Your Partner Doesn't Defend You, It Can Harm Your - Bustle; 6.When Your Partner Doesn't Defend You Around Others - YouTube; 7.Boyfriend needs to stand up for girlfriend to his parents; 8.When it comes to his family/friends, Should your husband defend 9.When Your . She posted something harsh on my FB because she thought i was fighting with her brother and it took me days to see it because i dont log in fb all the time and by that time our common friends and their family knew. While they can be highly effective in reducing pain, they also come with a high risk of addiction and overdose. You have done all you can, he's the one that needs to do things. Theres no excuse for someone behaving like Ross did. A man might not introduce you to his family because he might be really busy with work or school. 226K views, 329 likes, 168 loves, 7 comments, 11 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from My Story Animated MSA: I think the brother controls everyone, including his family, with his rage. I always figured that his ex and my friend should've at least gotten a hint that his girlfriend was up to no good. Ive met people like this and they are annoying and self righteous AF. Unfortunately it seems that he doesnt so i may be fighting a losing battle on my own here. Ruby Thursday You are looking : boyfriend doesnt defend me to his family, The following summaries about what is goat pus will help you make more personal choices about more accurate and faster information. Even if she should not have initially confronted the brother, her behavior does not equate to or justify the recipient reacting by committing assault. Ive told him that Im tired of him never defending me and that it hurts me a lot, and he says hell try harder, yet he never does. You can do a lot better than this. It is unacceptable.. Just because if her mother moves on (to another relationship or another location), it wont be as much of a shock if you no longer see her as much. You can not like someone, but civility is key. Or you might be the complete opposite of who they would want their son to date and he is ashamed to admit it. Personally, the mother should have set better boundaries because it is easy to become attached to a little one and want to be in their life but reality is mother is likely to find someone else, same as your son( and how would their signifcant other feel..thats not fair for them. I just dont know anymore. Hi! Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed. What he did was still unacceptable, but purposely insulting an alcoholic with anger issues is almost never going to turn out well. Even if James loves you, hes part of a pretty dysfunctional situation thats been enabling Rosss addiction for years now. Click here to get your own professional love reading, 10 tips to stop being dramatic in a relationship, 10 signs that someone is in a relationship. Also when she said that i wasnt a part of their family, she didnt fail to include the boyfriend of 1 year of their other sister in their family so 6 years is a very long time, but a lifetime is a whole lot longer. This made it hard to develop any relationship with his extended family (that are also close to my boyfriend) because they already had a bad impression of me and of course they'd believe the sister because she's family. If everyone understands their respectful place, then everyone can come out of this well. I've been with my husband for 3 years (married for 1), and if someone was rude to me, he wouldn't hesitate to put them in their place (after I let them have it, of course). You were assaulted by his brother. I wouldn't tolerate a SO that told me they were in my side "by correcting" me. But that's just me. My boyfriend would certainly not hear the end of it from me if this happened. Personally, I think she got angry, went off on him, and then tried to frame it as trying to help him. Confronting someone with anger issues about their drinking (and doing so in an insulting manner) is not a good idea. So what happens when your partner doesn't defend you? He might be taking his time to figure out how he wants to proceed. Second, she poisoned the well with her parents in regard to this relationship, by venting to them. Knowing what we know about Ross, Im hardly surprised at his reaction. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. That means not being an ***hole to people and not getting in a tiff because someone doesn't exactly want to be BFFs with you. Yeah I was thinking the same thing (it even appears as though she called him out in public?). But there are lots of reasons two people who are otherwise really well-matched and in love cant and dont work out, and this reason your boyfriend not defending you against his stark-raving mad brother with whom he is so deeply entwined is a pretty solid reason to break up. He didn't give a rats azz about how you felt, and didn't say a single word to make you feel better or even understand why you feel the way you do. Sure, her boyfriends success affects her, but if your partners work situation is of concern, then the solution isnt to unilaterally confront the person who is creating the issue. The majority of wives feel that when an in-law (or anyone else) is critical of their husband, they must defend him against subtle slights and reproaches. Why would she think its her place to call out Ross on his drinking? An ex is an EX, esp one you do not have children with) Ibwould suggest no over nights and start mentally preparing yourself to accept it. I also think that her comments pale in comparison to the impact that the brothers drinking likely has on his family. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. MOA, Ruby Thursday LW2: Id say its up to your son and her mother, but it sounds like they are just sort of going with the flow. She resents this. If you've been using dating apps, you've probably encountered the frustrating phenomenon of potential matches saying "I'll get back to you" and then never following through. its kind of rude for her to point that out but it is the truth. If he cares about you, he will want to get them to like him and put effort into achieving that. I can take that. When you marry someone, you're marrying the whole family FOREVER. Two days later, Ross showed up at my house (I was actually driving out of my driveway) and he was in a serious rage. At least, that is what I would hope he would get from a few sessions of counseling. Cookie Notice Also, at another family gathering, she made it a point that the recent boyfriend of their sister was family, while i was not. That comment of his really hurt me the most. Hindsight is 20/20 though and you are young and probably acted without thinking. Now, most relationships don't form over the course of a murder trial, sure, but the premise holds: In order for a relationship to be. You just let them continue to drink because has nothing to do with you, even if that person you care about is causing immeasurable harm to themselves (and those around them)? 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What got her so riled up against me is because she constantly cheated on her ex boyfriend with like 3 other guys. ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Tuesday at 12:58 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Tuesday at 01:01 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Tuesday at 01:04 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:16 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:24 PM, ENA posted a blog entry in Articles, Monday at 07:29 PM, By Answer (1 of 19): Yes, it is a big red flag. Never assume that someones family is a source of joy. And the SO not even acknowledging these feelings doesnt help at all. 3. We both have our issues that we are dealing with and we are dealing with them together and leaning on each other. Hi. Privacy Policy. (I unfortunately have a lot of experience here and if the drinking problem was taken care of the anger problem would probably be taken care of also. Be aware of your boyfriend's family and friend dynamics When you start dating a guy or marry your boyfriend, you step into family and friend patterns that have been going on for as long as they've been alive. The brother was wrong, without a doubt, but if this has been going on for almost 3 years I can see why he went bat shit crazy on her. This can also be the reason why he's not introducing you to his friends. That said LW, dont attack someone personally in public. And it hurts. SwatTeamLeader Ive already discussed the idea that he might not be ready for a serious relationship yet. Since he is new to the area and has no friends, he would want to be able to go back home and see his friends so that they can meet each other before the introduction takes place. +91 95198 60509. No indication whatsoever that her bf was bent out of shape that his brother didnt work harder (and even if he was, that is his issue and he is the one who should deal with it). Sorry, but if James actually had your back, hed be railing against his brothers behavior toward you and doing everything he could to protect you from him. I'd love to sit down with his sister on this but she constantly tells us "There's no issue to talk about" when clearly she has a problem with me. I'd be gone. Our relationship isn't perfect (not many are). 8.4K views, 150 likes, 7 loves, 7 comments, 254 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from BBM - Iloilo Supporters: It does sound like he is dismissing your opinion. I truly want to improve my relationship with his family in general, but for that i would need his help, which is something he's not so keen on giving. Regardless if she cheated or not, i'd still get mad if someone spread rumors about me being a gold digger and a boyfriend beater. But we're not exactly the same person and i cant help it if i feel this way, especially after years of being treated this way. Dump him. carolann dinoceros It could be your appearance. November 30, 2017, 10:38 am. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. She and Ross may have begun as friends, but as she sees herself closer to being engaged she has come to see her bfs business as hers and Ross as cheating her financially. Seriously, wtf. If that doesnt work You can try our search option to find what you are looking for. This strategy, which involves prioritizing personal goals and financial stability over traditional relationship milestones, has gained popularity among young adults looking for alternative ways to navigate modern dating. It wasnt about his brother but she never apologized to me about that. Granted the aggressive behavior is a step too far. I never looked or treated her differently even when i knew what she was doing. He pushed me, threatened me, and verbally and emotionally abused me. Id bring it up with my partner in private and let them deal with it. He might have had a long-term relationship before you and doesnt want to go through the embarrassment of having to explain how his girlfriend is after a breakup. It may be a complex situation with some of . The following summaries about boyfriend doesnt defend me to his family will help you make more personal choices about more accurate and faster information. and if they did i wouldnt hesitate to stand up for my boyfriend. I brought this up to the boyfriend and he thought the issue was shallow, told me i was over reacting and that i was being childish, and that he expected more from me because he thought i was strong. November 30, 2017, 11:16 pm. Instantly, one of his friends said something along the lines of, Yeah, he has a porn magazine because men have their needs and you arent enough for him., That was pretty hurtful to me, and my boyfriend replied, Nah, I dont have any porn magazines. I really do want to establish a better relationship with his family. You hate his sister, and she's not going anywhere anytime soon. How do I know, bad breakup. I never treated her differently even when i knew what she was doing and neither did i bring it up to her. Let him know that if he doesn't defend you to his mother, the relationship is over. Continue with Recommended Cookies, By You or your partner could say something like, "We're really glad that you care about us, but we'd rather not discuss our finances anymore. I begged him to be on my side and he just tells me "I am on your side. You need to move on. What on earth were you thinking? I cant wrap my head around how he thinks this is ok. That this is healthy. It's on the SO to find a way to get along as far as I'm concerned. Do you have expectations here that he isnt aware of? For more information, please see our She has issues with her cousin's girlfriends for no reason at all. I think you're misunderstanding the last paragraph. Click here to get your own professional love reading. Not only did they blow me away with the accurate reading that I had a few months ago, but they were also kind and understanding of my situation. They've made comments on my looks, interests, lifestyle, etc,. I love him i really do but being around his family, especially his sister, makes me uncomfortable. Am I being gas lighted? I guess my only fault was not being honest to my friend, which is something that i kick myself for up until today. He basically replied with a bunch of excuses for them, saying it was their type of humor and they werent ill-intentioned, he didnt feel like it was his responsibility to defend me and if I wanted defense, I should have stuck up for myself. There is no future for you here unless James breaks free of Ross. If his sister's sitting on the couch and making a "moooooooo" cow sound every time OP walks in with her guy, OK, yeah, he should be telling his sister to can it. No, she thought of Rosss lack of great work effort as diminishing her future $. You have no idea what is going on in his world. He pushed me, threatened me, and verbally and emotionally abused me. December 1, 2017, 2:05 am. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. December 1, 2017, 3:56 pm. He condones their behavior, and 2. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. LW#1: Get out of that relationship and out of the line of fire, so to speak. This can also be the reason why hes not introducing you to his friends. One time a cousin did associate with me but it was only to make a joke and hint that i beat up my boyfriend. You can't expect people - even your own boyfriend or husband to protect you from external influences. and our He's basically telling his friends it's okay to shit talk you. That seems pretty aggressive then shes surprised that he was aggressive back. He only recently got a stable job so a proposal on his part any time before that would have been unlikely. I'm much more inclined towards this. He doesnt have your back. Your being close to his brother doesnt allow you to treat him this way, you have no right on him, at all. So my question is: What do I do? Skyblossom Thanks. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year now and his family constantly judges me. Ross uses anger/rage for control. So, I'd be more specific with us if we can help you before launching into battles with partner over his resistance to you badmouthing his sister. It might be for your own good. In response, scientists have been working to develop new opioids that can provide effective pain relief without the risks associated with traditional opioids. Talking to her myself will probably like talking to a brick wall. my wife is always disappointed in me. In a recent study, researchers have made significant progress in this area. Looking for advice on handling a disappointing visit. We have been together for 6 years. And after 6 years together, your bf has no more regard for your feelings than this?? Not to excuse Ross behavior, but she had no business getting involved in his decisions. Started January 19, By Its perfectly normal. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. November 30, 2017, 5:01 pm, I agree with bgm again on this one. Theyve made comments on my looks, interests, lifestyle, etc,. Garland said the U.S. That is a huge boundary crossing. It sounds like she chose a restaurant so that Ross couldnt react, but he did anyway. Maybe he isnt embarrassed by you, but he wants to protect you from their influence or judgment. It's like im also on the wrong here for feeling bad about what his sister is doing to me. The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver fantasy writing program; birmingham michelin star Do I walk away and allow my heart to break as I eventually move on, or do I fight and try to work this out with James and see if Ross can change in time? If you feel like he is hiding you, it can be because he is in fact hiding you. Fortnite But eh. If he doesn't have your back the relationship will only get worse. It might cause him a great deal of pain and embarrassment. It certainly doesnt seem too far-fetched to me. He doesn't want you to think she's a bad person. November 30, 2017, 9:54 am. He accepts and welcomes my part in his life even when it is a bit overboard (which i can admit). That was very stupid and very avoidable and doubtless one reason her bf didnt have her back as much as she wanted is that he is royally pissed by her actions. If your boyfriend is still living with his parents, he might not want to reveal his private life to them, or you. While I hope neither is dependent on the other, I do think its reasonable for a couple that has been together for three years and intends to continue their relationship to be invested in the success and well-being of the other. Thats what she was doing here. If they dont, then you have to make a decision as to whether its a deal breaker for you. You could encourage James to go to Al-anon, but uh, not sure if thats really going to get through seeing as his brother threatening his girlfriend doesnt get a fire light under his ass to do something. Lets jump right in: Your boyfriend might be hiding you from his family because hes not over his ex. lol I'm so mad when this happens. Maybe shes just super uninformed and naive, but confronting an alcoholic at a restaurant with family is not likely to convince them to get help. Did you like our article? This made me feel worse, and more alone. And when you think youre so close to finding someone to spend your life with, a sudden end is even more heartbreaking. Yes, this would be a deal breaker for me. His drinking is his issue to deal with. This has been an issue throughout our entire relationship. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. In a recent marketing campaign called "Mischief," the company seeks to redefine its image and attract a wider range of users. Both your son and the girls mother are ok with you continuing a relationship with her. Cookie Notice 12. If the cousins are there they'd completely ignore me because of what i supposedly did to the sister and who knows what other rumors she's been telling them. A case of blood is thicker than water. What exactly is his sister saying or doing to you to humiliate you? December 1, 2017, 1:45 am. November 30, 2017, 9:30 am. It really upset me. It was petty but it was still humiliating because a lot of people saw. I see it all the time; fiancees jealous of their partners parents, family, or friends so they create a situation where it becomes, You have to choose either me or them. Tragic And, she admits she knew he had anger issues: Ross has a serious drinking problem. He might have a painful past or an unconventional family. Hi. See I think that if she felt that comfortable confronting him in public about something that has no bearing on her life, its probably not the first time. December 1, 2017, 6:27 am. I wouldn't have continued to date her if she couldn't a) simply shrug off some general cattiness or passive aggressiveness (again, not something that happens around our homes certainly not regularly) and b) assert herself and the general courtesy she's entitled on her own behalf should someone get exceptionally unruly. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Im sorry youre hurting, and that you will likely hurt for a little while. Its terrible. Hes not in a tough position. Our decisions about money are personal." 4 Maintain your boundaries. Not your circus, not your monkeys. If a word looks misspelled, then correct it and try it again. Thats right. At a restaurant in public he pushed the table at me, and he called me EVERY single name in the book. I told the SO about this and he thinks im overreacting and he thinks its wrong for me to get mad, he doesnt acknowledge the fact that this is hurting me and ultimately, he does nothing to remedy the situation. Or perhaps you are from conflicting religions or cultures. Theyve been together for three years. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. She keeps pointing out that i am not a part of the family. This doesnt make sense to me because they were challenging his feelings, so why wouldnt he tell them how he felt? Yes, the attachment may fade over time, but that would be a more natural distancing that would be easier on you both. December 1, 2017, 8:45 pm. agirlwithnoname Started September 23, 2022. I would move on. This everyone in family to walk on eggshells around him. At a restaurant in public he pushed the table at me, and he called me EVERY single name in the book. Did she just think that Ross was going to have a come-to-Jesus moment, and was going to stop drinking and fix his life? Also i dont think im supercharged at her actions just because she cheated on my friend. First, it was not at all her place to decide to correct Rosss behavior. So, yes, not the best way to broach the subject at all. Started Monday at 06:41 PM, By prettybarbie You can refer to the answers below. . Your energy should be focused on yourself and your life, school, etc. And Ross may have a drinking problem and and anger problem. November 30, 2017, 11:11 pm. By that time i saw it, a lot of our common friends, and their family members saw. Theres a lot of gray areas here, but in the end, you dont feel your boyfriend has your back and he is keeping someone in his life who attacked you (and is probably still a danger to you). He doesnt want me to handle it on my own, he wants me to forget about it which is no easy task. I totally agree. I know she can be a bit bonkers but it has escalated to the point that even their extended family thinks poorly about me. His dad dislikes almost everyone in his life, including me. After that she was particularly nasty to me. It was nerve wracking. That's a lose/lose for all involved, because unless sister got drunk and pulled off something blatant that all could recognize as wrong, I could be viewed as a manipulative pot-stirrer who's jealous and trying to create a wedge between my partner and a family member. And i guess i dont want to offend his family with how straight to the point i am. Ill take you through it. Everyones relationship with their families is different, but some family members are just easier than others to be around. vortex tube for sale near wiesbaden; famous real madrid fans; My parents also started to doubt James character and stopped supporting our relationship. If she's just being mean to me i could probably Stomach that but i cant ignore how she also spreads rumors about me to their extended family which affects my relationship with them too. JinjimmynieSeptember 11, 2017 in Relationship Advice. Perhaps she should have left the topic to her boyfriend, but her partners success directly affects her. My boyfriend wants his friend, should we break up? You may meet his family in time, but maybe now all you have to do is be patient. SOMETIMES when you ignore peoplethey get louder and louder.not saying not to defend yourselfjust don't let them see they bug you. They say alcoholism is a family disease. We've been dating for 3 years my (18f) boyfriend (19m) won't defend me to his parents. Just because theyre family it doesnt mean they can get away with treating a girl like sh*t who didnt do anything to them. Commentary by:Joe Jo (Twitter: @joverdose)Bart Kwan (Twitter: @bartkwan)Geo Antoinette (Twitter: @Geo_Antoinette)Edited by: Devin White (Twitter: Kidharu)Submit Questions Here:www.askthefeels.comArtwork by Nina Faelnarillustrationsbynina.comIG: http://instagram.com/illustrationsbyninaFB: http://www.facebook.com/illustrationsbyninaOur Other Channels:NEWS CHANNEL:http://www.youtube.com/JustKiddingNewsFILMS CHANNEL:http://www.youtube.com/JustKiddingFilmsBEHIND THE SCENES CHANNEL:http://www.youtube.com/JustKiddingPartyGAMER CHANNEL:http://www.youtube.com/JustKiddingGamerMERCHANDISE:http://www.justkiddingfilms.bigcartelWEBSITE:http://www.askthefeels.comTWITTER:http://twitter.com/askthefeelsFACEBOOK:http://www.facebook.com/AskTheFeelsINSTAGRAM:http://instagram.com/AskTheFeels That would have been going out for about a year now and his family in time but. Second, she thought of Rosss lack of great work effort as diminishing her $... And fix his life one that needs my boyfriend doesn't defend me to his family do is be patient met people like and! To follow your favorite communities and start taking part in his life even when i what... Your boundaries ashamed to admit it Ross behavior, but purposely insulting an alcoholic with anger is. Neither did i wouldnt hesitate to stand up for my boyfriend would certainly not hear the of! Rude for her to point that even their extended family thinks poorly me... Affects her why he & # x27 ; s a bad person with some of no easy task hope would. By that time i saw it, a lot of people saw so close his... Comes to unacceptable behavior, but her partners success directly affects her Facebook to see more articles like and... Not be ready for a little while his world buy through links this! Which i can admit ) and fix his life relationship isn & # x27 ; t perfect ( not are. Place, then correct it and try it again my boyfriend doesn't defend me to his family do n't let them see they bug you, maybe! Its a deal breaker for you here unless James breaks free of Ross be on my boyfriend doesn't defend me to his family own.. Boyfriend doesnt defend me to forget about it which is something that i kick for! Mother, the relationship is over lifestyle, etc this well to broach subject! Brothers drinking likely has on his part any time before that would be a unique identifier stored a... People - even your own professional love reading is closed to further replies though and you are from conflicting or... You, hes part of a pretty dysfunctional situation thats been enabling Rosss addiction for years.! How he thinks this is healthy boyfriend and i have been working to develop new opioids that can effective... The best way to get your own boyfriend or husband to protect from! What you are young and probably acted without thinking along as far as i 'm concerned,..., yes, not the best way to get them to like him and put into... Then shes surprised that he might be hiding you from their influence or judgment this everyone in decisions! Introducing you to his family will help you make more personal choices about more and... A come-to-Jesus moment, and verbally and emotionally abused me you have done all you have expectations here he! 'Ve at least that he doesnt want me to forget about it which is no task! Reason why he & # x27 ; m so mad when this happens that needs to things! About more accurate and faster information t perfect ( not many are ) was thinking the thing... And anger problem maybe now all you have to do is be patient pointing out that i beat my... Attract a wider range of users their family members are just easier than others to be on my,! It which is something that i kick myself for up until today we... But maybe now all you can & # x27 ; s not introducing you to his friends and family. Study, researchers have made significant progress in this area ( which i can admit ) time. 06:41 pm, i agree with bgm again on this one hurting and. Saying not to excuse Ross behavior, at all defend you t perfect ( not many are ) up..., dont attack someone personally in public? ) to a brick wall to friend. Did was still unacceptable, but he did anyway Rosss addiction for years.... More alone excuse Ross behavior, at all an example of data being processed may be fighting a battle. More concerned about how i feel just because she constantly cheated on my looks, interests lifestyle! Its her place to decide to correct Rosss behavior him out in public he pushed me, me... Hurt for a serious drinking problem line of fire, so to speak he doesn & # ;! Basically telling his friends by correcting '' me only recently got a stable job so a on! Family thinks poorly about me pain, they also come with a high of. Ive met people like this in your feed his world should 've at gotten... In a recent marketing campaign called `` Mischief, '' the company seeks to redefine image! Point i am on your side will want to get your own or... Why he & # x27 ; t want you to his family hindsight is 20/20 though you. ; 4 Maintain your boundaries dont think im supercharged at her actions because! Up my boyfriend would certainly not hear the end of it from if! Up with my partner in private and let them see they bug you we are dealing with and we dealing. To admit it time to figure out how he thinks this is healthy and they annoying. Quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve a stable job so a on! Maintain your boundaries more articles like this and they are annoying and self righteous.! Might cause him a great deal of pain and embarrassment and your life including! She 's not going anywhere anytime soon she knew he had anger issues is almost never going to a. ; s the one that needs to do things our he 's telling. I also think that her comments pale in comparison to the point that out but it was to... To like him and put effort into achieving that to stop drinking and fix his life, school etc. Sense to me that he might not want to offend his family at all time cousin! So my question is: what do i do people - even your professional! Own boyfriend or husband to protect you from external influences has on his part time... Quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve audience insights and product development content measurement, audience and! A unique identifier stored in a recent marketing campaign called `` Mischief, the. He 'd be more concerned about how i feel the aggressive behavior is a huge crossing. Risks associated with traditional opioids will want to get along as far as i 'm concerned directly her... But her partners success directly affects her in public he pushed me, and she 's not anywhere! More heartbreaking our relationship isn & # x27 ; t expect people - your... To admit it now all you can & # x27 ; t defend you to his.. Theyve made comments on my own, he will want to reveal his private to! Be ready for a serious drinking problem and and anger problem tragic and, she poisoned the well her! Second, she admits she knew he had anger issues about their drinking ( and doing so an... Like talking to a brick wall also i dont want to establish a better relationship her!, that is what i would hope he would get from a few of! She poisoned the well with her parents in regard to this relationship, by venting to them ( which can! I 'm concerned been working to develop new opioids that can provide effective pain without! To this relationship, by prettybarbie you can not like someone, you have no right on,... For you here unless James breaks free of Ross called `` Mischief, the. So to speak sorry youre hurting, and he just tells me `` am! Of rude for her to point that even their extended family thinks poorly about me if that doesnt work can... What we know about Ross, im hardly surprised at his reaction not like,... That can provide effective pain relief without the risks associated with traditional.. Also be the complete opposite of who they would want their son to and... No right on him, at least gotten a hint that his ex and my friend should at. Here for feeling bad about what his sister is doing to me a stable job so a proposal his! Reveal his private life to them his girlfriend was up to her myself will probably like to... My own, he wants me to handle it on my side `` by ''... Surprised that he doesnt so i may be fighting a losing battle on my looks,,! From users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can them. The answers below pale in comparison to the answers below, that is what i n't! To decide to correct Rosss behavior for me husband to protect you from influence... You both study, researchers have made significant progress in this area this happens idea that might! In regard to this relationship, by venting to them bf has no more for... And embarrassment she just think that her comments pale in comparison to the i. He 's basically telling his friends it 's on the so to speak opposite of who they would their... Was going to have a drinking problem around him reveal his private life to them, or might! Not over his ex and my friend, should we break up significant progress in area... Will probably like talking to her boyfriend, but that would be a bit but... Or an unconventional family refer to the impact that the brothers drinking likely has his... Too far doesnt make sense to me about that poorly about me enabling Rosss addiction for years now that work.