Are we, as some would claim, a place where children can do what they like or, as a young Montessori student once told a visitor, a place where children like what the do? Remember that the goal of discipline, under the Montessori Method, is to produce children who have self-respect and, as a result of that self-respect, they learn self-discipline. If your child calms down, give them another chance to play with the other kids. Montessori reading tactics might seem a bit foreign if you are used to the traditional preschool educational methods. This approach assumes the best of children, collaborates with them, and empowers them to develop self-discipline and problem-solving skills. Children dont have the critical thinking skills to understand the natural consequences of their actions, which is why conversations about consequences are so important. Kindergarten comes with advancements in language acquisition, and kindergarten-aged children will be capable of more in-depth conversations about actions and consequences. Montessori discipline is likely going to feel a bit unnatural or challenging when youre just getting started, but with a little time and practice, youll find that both you and your child adapt quite well. Kind and clear limits When we are clear on the house rules, the children are too. They are always eager to take a turn playing the roles, and they are thrilled to know a better way to handle personal situations. 1. That Stubborn Little Girl! So the problem was solved: To obtain discipline, give freedom., Maria Montessori, Education for a New World. If we shout to solve problems, they learn to shout to solve problems. A perfect example is Control of Error (check out Sue's post about Control of Error here) Sensory Activities. In reality, Montessori falls in the middle of these two extremes. I get angry sometimes too, and ask, Why are you angry? Keep in mind, some of these suggestions may not be appropriate for every age, stage and situation. Children don't know the rules of the house until they're taught them, so that is one of your important parenting responsibilities. What is causing your anger? rather than using negative reinforcement to try to control their emotional outbursts. They say prevention is better than cure. For one, its embarrassing your childs behavior and character is a reflection of your parenting. If youd like to know more about positive discipline (Montessori-friendly) strategies for kids 2-teens, be sure to register for the free Positive Parenting Solutions webinar by Amy McCready! Im going to have to come back and read/watch it all later. These lessons require the child to follow an orderly step by step process, which will further develop both self discipline and logical thinking, thus laying a foundation for the more abstract academic activities offered within the other areas of the classroom. Remind yourself that children are usually only acting on what they know. Respect, then, is the basic principle of Montessori discipline. Montessori in 5 Minutes | Guide & Grow TV. A Montessori approach to discipline consists of a delicate balance between freedom and discipline. It is important to understand the why to figure out the best way to handle toddler biting. Treat elementary students with the respect that you expect them to exhibit and give them freedom to make their own choices. If you notice your child is starting to show aggressive behavior, and you both cannot leave, tell your child to stay by your side until he is safe to play with others. This is one of the basic principles of Montessori education. Required fields are marked *. Pondok Betung Raya No: 86 Bintaro (dekat sektor 4) Jakarta Selatan, US StudentsCanadian StudentsInternational Students, It is never easy for any parent to see their child being mean to others. Visitors commonly issue such comments as, Ive heard Montessori is too free and chaotic or Ive heard Montessori is too structured. It does not seem possible that these two extreme opposites can both be true. As an Amazon associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Two-Year-Olds hitting can sometimes be a very effective way to handle new emotions. It will be available soon. More here. We cannot expect children to control their own emotions if we ourselves are having meltdowns in front of them. Sometimes, they get overwhelmed with all the things happening around them, and they don't know how to handle this information and emotions. By selecting choices ahead of time, youll feel comfortable knowing that whatever your child chooses is already approved and acceptable, helping avoid any battles. Not using bribes and rewards or punishment - Bribes, rewards and punishment are all extrinsic motivations. This often results in aggressive behavior. The Montessori Method requires parents to have conversations about the emotions that cause bad behavior, and those conversations are crucial for both parents and childrens emotional outbursts. 2780 MITCHELL DRIVE WALNUT CREEK CA 94598 Phone: (925) 944-0626 FAX: (925) 944-0678 www.springfieldmontessoriwc.com amzn_assoc_title = "Related Products"; It is important, though, that you follow through with the next rule when emphasizing natural consequences in this way. 10 Reasons Not to Hit Your Child. By clicking the consent button, you agree to allow the site to use, collect and/or store cookies. Discipline in the Montessori Method is a constant task that requires parents and educators to work together to inform children of their choices, make them aware of consequences, and use model behaviors and lessons to enforce obedience. 5. In time, with modeling and consistency, children become proficient at handling social difficulties. Read more about improved Emotional Intelligence here. Expecting a one year old to keep up on a walk with their four year old sibling will likely lead to a meltdown. When confronted, her daughter said, "I'm just playing mommy.". So toddlers are truly unable to control their urges or express their feelings. " If the child is not yet master of his own actions, if he cannot obey even his own will, so much the less can he obey the will of someone else. The word discipline doesn't mean to punish. Another important consideration, is that children have the same range and depth of emotions as adults, but they dont have the maturity or experience to put these feelings in perspective. Inner Discipline Instead of seeing the parent or educator as a hindrance to their natural desires, they will begin to see figures of authority as facilitators and gain respect for parents, educators, and other authorities. Too often we discipline for the moment, hastily solving the present problem, but possibly creating future ones. Surprisingly enough, Montessori found that it was through the very liberty inherent in her classrooms that the children were given the means to reveal their inner or self-discipline. One of the secrets to success in the Montessori classroom is freedom within the limits of very clear ground rules. When this second level of obedience is reached, most parents and teachers would think they had reached their goal. Thank you so much for putting this all together. With this level of obedience or self-discipline comes a degree of self-respect in which a child cannot help but respect the rights and needs of others alongside her own. This way, you are showing your child what he did, which is way more effective at showing the effects of his actions than lecturing your child. Depending on the age of your child, you can discuss what feeling triggered an aggressive action or reaction. How do they make your stomach feel? 1) Take care of all people and living things in our environment, and 2) Take care of all of the material things in our environment. This can be the most difficult part because, as parents, we often have personalities and experiences that we havent interrogated. Engage students in role-play exercises such as practicing greeting people, politeness in conversation, and conflict resolution. Here are 8 tips for a Montessori approach to discipline. Keep calm, be neutral, and dont be judgmental when you ask your child how would you feel if Tommy kicked you?, If they are unable to answer, say how you would feel, such as I would feel scared and sad if you kicked me.. How Can a Real Montessori Classroom Be Identified. Learning about the Montessori Method has been intriguing and fascinating, and I have enjoyed watching the little ones in my life learn and grow from incorporating Montessori elements into our family's lifestyle.Montessori For Today was started to provide answers to my own questions, which will hopefully become a great resource for others to learn about the Montessori Method, Montessori Schools, and how you can incorporate elements of Montessori into your own home and lifestyle. The role of the teacher, then, is to be a model and a guide while supporting the child as he develops to the point where he is able to choose to accept and to follow the rules of the classroom community. When triggers are unavoidable, come up with a constructive way to reset or calm yourself down. Equally important, these adults will need to possess robust enthusiasm for learning, a deep respect for all life, kindness, and the patience of a saint. If discipline comes from within, then what is the job of the teacher? Although it might feel like youre in the, Read More The 24 Best Montessori Books for Parents and TeachersContinue, Sandpaper letters are traditionally used in a Montessori education, but can be easily incorporated whether you follow Montessori principles or not. Teach Grace and Courtesy! Freedom and discipline walk hand in hand in Montessori pedagogy. Following some inner guide, they occupied themselves in work different for each that gave them joy and peace, and then something else appeared that had never before been known among children, a spontaneous discipline. However, thats not to say that we need to be perfect in order to use Montessori discipline methods. Set a Behavior Plan Hitting other children should result in natural consequences, such as other children not wanting to play. As a mom thats new to Montessori, its so helpful to read about the philosophy and applying it at home! The Montessori classroom uses their desire for fairness by teaching them to think before they act and to look at the big picture. * Get rid of the chaos and set up cosy spaces at home And always reinforce and praise behavior when you catch your child being kind and gentle. But with a little research, most parents are finding themselves struck, Read More Montessori vs. First help them calm down. Establish Rules Create household rules that address respect. and get free geography album, monthly subscriber freebie, and access to the Living Montessori Now Resource Library! Discover your triggers and then do your best to avoid them in the future. amzn_assoc_search_bar = "true"; This struck visitors even more than the explosion into writing had done; children were walking about, seeking for work in freedom, each concentrating on a different task, yet the whole group presented the appearance of perfect discipline. As adults, it is our responsibility to help children understand the effects of their action. Parents are often concerned that the Montessori childs freedom to choose activities presupposes that discipline is something alien to our classrooms. Sometimes, they get overwhelmed with all the things happening around them, and they dont know how to handle this information and emotions. For instance, if a child is talking to neighbors in class, remind them that it is important to listen to the teacher so that they learn the lesson of the day. Either way, teaching your child that it is okay for them to step away from the situation and calm down before returning is key. Parents should be able to find within their Montessori school, a family friendly environment that is ready to offer support. Your email address will not be published. Freedom might seem antithetical to discipline, but to foster true discipline, from within the child and not outside sources, we must foster an understanding of the freedom of choice and the consequences that come along with that freedom. Explaining to them why certain activities or actions are not allowed helps build their understanding. 2. Before long, they act this way because it has become who they believe they are. There are many times when your child's behavior warms and embraces your heart. For the convenience of our parents, we offer childcare before and after school for which we are . Your child needs your love and support, and these. So much information in this post. Teach children that they are polite, respectful and peaceful human beings and before you know it, theyll likely start to believe it. For example, if a child wants to eat a lot of sweets before bed, ask them, How do you feel when you eat a lot of sweets? , Montessori falls in the middle of these suggestions may not be appropriate for every age, stage and.! Reached, most parents and teachers would think they had reached their goal social difficulties why. And consistency, children become proficient at handling social difficulties freedom., Maria Montessori, Education a. Children will be capable of more in-depth conversations about actions and consequences such as practicing greeting people, in. This approach assumes the best of children montessori discipline hitting collaborates with them, so that is ready to support. Within, then what is the job of the secrets to success in Montessori! 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